what would you do just to feel a little more special than everyone else?

i'm guessing its because you don't want to feel so lonely. to feel that you're unique. to feel that you're wanted. to feel loved.

but heard of trying too hard?


the world's laughing at you now.

you'll be beautiful just by being who you are.



trust me, i'm just departing from where you are now.

love,

i am feeling rather detached now. spending all my breaks studying in the library alone is kinda lousy. but i really think i can't be living to so much fun anymore. my classmates are pretty rocking, but i can't stay with the whole group and crap around so much anymore. need to be focused on studying. and i can't be with everyone else and study because even if they're focused, i'll just end up distracting them too. oh man, tts just me. a social hazard.

today on the way to school, the detachment felt even worse. i took 3 buses to go to sch coz i was running late, but despite this high level of activity, i just felt swallowed by the music from my earphones. like i wasnt very concious of where i was going or when i should alight. just.... detached you know.

maybe its because of studying, maybe its because of some other minor detail i noticed. well, it would be a minor detail to others but it means a world to me, somehow.

ah. A levels are so screwy. and it won't be the toughest stage of my life. there'll be greater challenges coming.

i pray tt i'll be able to stay strong in my faith even when i am a dirty sinner that sees fault to despise myself.

because even if you don't favour me as you do to others, i still choose to say that i love You, God. and with all i can, i will.

just finished downloading the G3 : Rocking In The Free World album. highlight of the album? little wing. that song is legendary. this version they did? rockin' legendary.

and after listening to the album, i understand why ppl hate malmsteen so much. he frikkin plays 16 beaters at 160 bpm. ok la, not exactly. but he's fast. fast fast fast. flaming hands man. but his music doesn't really make much sense. oh wells, maybe just not my type. i'm mild-hearted. haha. little wing is still > than malmsteen's speed.

i wonder if i can ever come up with something like little wing. what can i say about the song? it's beautiful. aiyahh, but i can't even play acoustic guitar in time, maybe i should just stick to learning the basics properly first.

i want to be able to express myself through music.

and i've discovered tt i dun like girls who are perfect looking. like perfectly neat hair, uniform, body, everything. there's something more alluring in the silly grin, freckles, lopsided walk, messy hair, and everything tt brings a tinge of imperfection.

but speaking about girls, i've a pathetic love life. if you didn't know, now you do. i won't have a female date to the prom, or to any events that i'd need to bring a date to. i'm gonna do a web search on those public escorts now. hahaha. yea right. but man, who the hell is turning 18 and still stuck in a silly little boy crush that he can't make sense of? me la. here, here. ME.

ahhh, somebody give me some lovin' please. :p

pretty tired. well, actually very.

hahaaha. spent my weekends without studying at all. you tell me how? die. saturday was in church for rehearsals, from 9.30 to 4. went through 2 rehearsals. then 40 days till 6.30. sunday, played for service at 8, then went for soccer, played nearly the full match running stupidly and battling physically with NS man and ptis. (if u play soccer with them, just try not to cross their paths. i ended up doing a somersault and landing on my feet while trying to tackle the pti.) then the mad-assed me went back for recording form 1530 to 1800.

recording was pretty ok i guess, just that i was tired and made lots of mistakes. omg, don't want the recording to get out like that. shall try to ask if i can re-record my part. but first time i've seen all us musicians so tired. everybody was just rather dead.

oh yea, jess left for the US already. she should be there by now. well, actually nv really did talk to her or worked with her this year. but still, i guess we'll all miss her, tho she was already somehow less herself(hyper) over the last few months. God bless you wherever you may go. :)


Staind - How About You

If someone else showed you the way
Would you take the wheel and steer?
It hurts me that you're not ashamed
Of what you're doing here
If they jumped off a bridge
Would you meet them on the ground?
Or would you try to claim
That it never made a sound?

Everyone plays the hand they're dealt
And learns to walk through life themselves
Not everything in life is handed on a plate
When people think your words are true
It doesn't matter what you do
I sold my soul to get here
How about you?

So you choose to force your hand
What a strange way to make friends
And you always change the rules
So the drama never ends
And you blindly go through life
Judging only by its worth
Just try not to forget
That the meek inherit earth

Everyone plays the hand they're dealt
And learns to walk through life themselves
Not everything in life is handed on a plate
When people think your words are true
It doesn't matter what you do
I sold my soul to get here
How about you?

So please don't take offense
This is just a point of view'
Cause I'm the only one who
Will say these things to you