livin' through this, just trying to kill the pain.
do | i/you | need | this ?
* ko0n.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Today was the last day of my midyrs, as well as my judo life. It is only at the end of this, that i look back and grieve that i never tried hard enough or wanted it bad enough.

slacking has screwed up my life. i had so much, but yet i wasted it all away by slacking. in training, in studies, in living for Christ. if i continue slacking through my life, i may never become who i can be. this much compromise? sooner or later, i will fade away. wait, i already am.

screw slacking, i'm done with slacking. slacking has screwed up my life.


Corrine May - Save me

I drift, I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like the putty in your hands

I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a roller coaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who i am
Just take my hand and

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you

I had a dream that i
was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die

But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Oh ' cause you

Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting

Before i met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought i had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

ahhhh. so tired. trying to read econs essay outlines on col@c but nthing is going in. damn. maybe my brain is full already..

the physics paper today was hella hard.. maybe it wasnt really a tough paper, just that i did not prepare sufficiently for it. dammnn.. but kinda like the first time i had something to do for the whole 3 hours. usually got a lot of time to spare and i can look around the exam hall for nerds/chicks.

after physics paper went to tp for lunch with some of my clsmates. ate old chunky. becoz i had lunch at home too.. but old chunky is good. love the squid stuffs they have. haaaha.

and then, its fun to tell girls they are fat. they are so insecure about it.. but its not nice to have fun at the expense of others. ok la.. they are not really fat. :) it was just for fun. tmr i'll tell them they are pretty. then soon, nobody will believe what i say anymore. haha.

after lunch, went to cut hair at somewhere in tp with xuan rui. don't really like my current hair. but then its ok, since nobody looks at me anyway. as long as i don't have a shiny scalp to attract attention, i'll probably go unnoticed.

and now i am at home, too sian to study. i am tired.. really.

Monday, June 27, 2005

its funny, all the falling and climbing i have to do in my life. i don't really mean physical of course, though there is quite a lot of that.

its funny how when i am close to turning 18, i still haven't really know myself yet. or is it just that i change so much that i never do catch up.

its funny how i always tend to drift away from people i don't see everyday, maybe it is a result of me not really putting in effort to mantain friendships.

its funny how crushes can last for nearly a year, and one can just easily give it all up when somebody else comes along. all the "i'll love you forever" just feels disgusting when you say it to a second person, remembering how you said it to the first.

its funny how i realize that all the A students would have done something already, yet i have done nothing and still sitting here believing i will get 3 As.

its funny how many ppl i have diregarded in my life. if i were not myself, i'd most certainly be disgusted by myself. and yet, i still live with myself everyday.

its funny how i wanted to type something personal right in this sentence but i backspaced it because i just don't dare to talk like that anymore.

its funny how all these could really be laughable if it wasnt so sad.

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