sometimes i don't really know, i really don't..

it is funny how i am nearly at the stage of my life to again, choose where i want to go. sometimes it feels funny why i am in jc, since my classmates and the academic peers i had in secondary school went to poly. maybe it was just to push making this decision to a later time, the decision to choose what i want to do for the rest of my life.

i think it is not a bad idea that i chose to come to jc so i could further explore my options. in two years, i have learnt a lot, and if i had taken tt decision two years ago, it'd probably have been a very different decision that i make now..

but i guess the time has come to make that decision. well, i still cannot decide. there are so many options to explore. maybe i can't push it off anymore. i need to choose what i want to do, and what i am going to do about it.

my com just played the song we used for fancy drill in BB when we were in sec 3 or smthing.

it was probably the single greatest performance our coy has put up in this era. and for a group of us who didnt even do drill properly, it is quite an achievement. a tremendous amount of hard work was put in though, training most days of the week, and imagine us guys in PT kits wearing boots. haha. funny, as well as good memories still play in my head.

from this, i learnt that anything is achievable, if u put in a tremendous amount of dedication. that is how history makers made history. when a worthy cause is found, go all out for it. and i believe that God will be with us when we are dedicated to a right cause.

also, the final performance we did may have been fantastic, but it wasn't all that our training culminated to. what we learnt during the training was actually the true product of our efforts. endurance, dedication, camaraderie, friendship, working in a team.... what we learnt in that journey was a preparation for our journey ahead. if we had not gotten here this way, we may not be headed to where we are going in the future.

aww man. i don't really know where my life is going right now. really hoping that i will get over to play for yf. please pray for me ppl.

it is funny how if i don't have a proper ministry now, my life feels empty. like it lacks purpose. considering if i lived without an aspect of my life in service, i probably could be much more successful in a worldly sense, it is funny how i would want so much to serve, seeing that i probably will not get anything back on this earth.

got exams at the end of this month. 28-30 june i think. thereabouts. i have like one and a half week left to study, and quite a lot of distractions. there is like the whole j2 syllabus to complete, in only 2 weeks? that is quite hard isnt it? 3 subjects in JC needs more time to study than the 7 i took in secondary school.

i've decided to change my style of guitar playing. i want to play in a similar style to richie sambora of bon jovi. he doesn't play a lot, but what he plays is meaningful. like small quantity, high efficiency. currently i just play a lot of senseless shit. got to work towards the richie sambora kind. sure he ppl would say he is some sell-out, but i really think that his playing is very good in its own way. subtle yet very emotional.

loving this song this morning. i want to be there for somebody. don't know when God will bring my other half into my life.

Bon Jovi - I'll be there for you

I guess this time you're really leaving,
I heard your suitcase say goodbye.
And as my broken heart lies bleeding,
they say true love is suicide.

You say you've cried a thousand rivers,
and now you're swimming for the shore.
You left me drowning in my tears,
and you won't save me anymore.

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl.

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can't say what love can do.
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times,
Now they have their own hiding place.
I can promise you tomorrow,
But I can't buy back yesterday.

And baby you know my hands are dirty,
But I wanted to be your Valentine,
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk,
I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you.
When you breathe
I want to be the air for you.
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can't say what love can do.
I'll be there for you

And I wasn't there when you were happy,
I wasn't there when you were down.
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can't say what love can do.