i feel like a mean person.
i feel guilty.

and everytime i see you, you behave like you hate me.
it doesn't help at all.

would a smile kill you?
no because if it did you'd be dead long ago.

is there a way to demonstrate any Christian love in this,
when everything seems too emotionally involved now?

6 days after trying to get serious about life, i'm falling apart//

so many things on my mind now.. my studies, bb enrolment, judo. trying to give more time to studies kills.

but the hardest part is trying to change some attitudes and to surrender certain aspects of my life to God. i want to, but it is really hard. and because i am lousy at this, i stumble all over. clumsy. think i get into ppl's way more trying to be a better person. need some divine help around here.