since today is a pretty normal day, i'll just have a normal entry.

1. GP was not dready today. the whole 2 hours of it i actually learnt pretty much!
2. I ate no meat in daylight today! ate no meat till dinner which was approx 1930.
3. My physics SPA on anomaly was only 4 lines. i forgot my significant figures for the first time. when i turned around to borrow a stapler from shufang, my jaws dropped and i wanted to dig a hole and die because HER STUFF ON ANOMALY WAS FREAKING A PAGE LONG!
4. I raped 3(i think maybe more) girls today. and a few boys probably? with my flying kiiiiiiiiieyiiiiiiiiiiiiis. tts lame shit. haha.
5. Mass PE wasn't tt tough! probably coz it was raining. but 30 rounds around the Audi? sounds bad but not really tt bad. kinda like a beep test actually.. beep tests are hell to run but u recover fast. :)
6. Did 7 pull-ups after mass pe. tot i could manage only 0 since it was after mass pe. oh wells, 3 more to 10!
7. Thought about the right to be smelly on the bus again. talked to shawn about it. haha he must think i'm weird now. oh wells i'll discuss this some other time.
8. Feeling sad over my guitar. will have to bring it for repairs again tmr. sigh. if i had the buckeroos i'd probably buy a new one.
9. i realize that losing the ability to make music aint half as bad as losing the inspiration to make music.
10. For tmr, welcoming ceremony(walter's singing! good luck dude. :)) . then a few hours of tutorials. off to PS to repair the guitar, then LWW at third place til night. i'll find out if that girl i saw at third place the other week is from CJ. because she looks very very familiar but i cant place her anywhere. she should be in school uni tmr, so i'll find out.
11. having 10 points is enough most of the time. really.

oh gosh i did some really silly thing today!

went to town with joshua n cheryl after sch for lunch.. and ended up doing smthing really silly. haha. on a pe day when i didnt do anything to my hair somemore. so bloody insecure because of my hair in town. and i had to go do smthing stupid. ok but since its over and done with, i guess its ok.. well at least, i hope its ok.

its about time i started working on my studies.. A's at end of this year.. if i don't start soon i may not make it. no make it if i don't start NOW, i may never make it.

and i'm in trouble. grossly double booked for this sunday. i have age groups competition and supposed to play for 8am as well. oh damn. i didn't even know age groups was this sunday, and i didn't even know i had to play age groups! so basically, i'm in deep shit. and i probably need to lose weight too.. don't know what weight category i am in again. oh dead. got to settle this tonight i think.

today is the day the entire world united to show me a humongous middle finger..

sigh. seems like every single thing that happened today was a f* u from the world. now i am just sitting here, aching inside and out, feeling like a total loser bummed from the world.

guess i've thought about this many times and prob talked abt it too. it probably is time for me to stop being so crappy.. like HELLO IT'S TIME TO GROW UP. long overdue. the problem is ppl would seem to not take me seriously and stuff, and i feel like a cheap source of entertainment to them. i feel like i'm entertainment, nt even a friend.

it sucks that at this stage of my life, there are still a whole lot of simple truths that i still cannot grasp. like right now, i don't even know how to be a friend anymore. i guess when ppl are down, there's always someone close to pick them up. not the case for me when i'm down. neither do am i good at picking ppl up. sigh. it's not like i absolutely hate ppl or anything. in fact, i really really want to be a good friend sometimes. just that i don't know how.

and so many other screwed up parts of my life too. i don't even know how to start sorting them out. you know, when you were young, you actually cried a lot but you were actually a much happier person. seems like now that i'm older, i haven't cried in ages even though the pains are much harsher than what i went through when i was younger. numb? maybe. but the feelings are all stuck in here and refuse to go away.

at certain points today, i just wanted to say a big f* u and walk away, but i'm glad i didnt. i don't think there is a need to point a finger back to the world either. i am humbled.. my bad. :/ the only person who suffered a weeny bit of this was probably christine.. coz i gave her a heck-&tired attitude when i saw her on the way home. haha. lucky tt was not even barely the tip of the iceberg. trust me, i'm not nice to be around when i'm feeling lousy.

think i whine a lot. oh wells, here's a nice song and i guess it says a lot. abt why we would nv have made it being any closer..

she's ready to fly
and i'm ready to crash

Matchbox 20 - cold

I will do without
The spaces in between
If you can tell me now
What it means to be

You have been found out
I have been deceived
By the one that I need

[Chorus]
Tell me why you gotta be so cold
How'd you get so high
Why you're keeping me low
You dont know, you don't know
Tell me how we're gonna make it last
You're ready to fly
I'm ready to crash
Don't go, don't go, no

You will go without
A better part of me
There will be no doubt
What this all could mean

You will be found out
I can not believe
In the one that I need

Tell me why you gotta be so cold
Tell me anything about you I don't know
I don't know by now
Know by now
Tell me how we're gonna make it last
You're ready to fly
I'm ready to crash
Don't go
Yeah, don't go