i am freaked.. darn freaked.

ok reasons why i'm freaked:

1. i have got this freaky queasy feeling in my stomach now.. like its really empty.

2. the 6pm ppl of the church are freaking me out. feels like God has a msg for me tt i can't figure out.. and when God has a msg to get thru, he'll get it thru... it could get harsher and harsher, and frankly i'm quite scared.

3. i have this weird feeling of isolation and unrealism.. am i really typing now or am i dreaming? is the person sitting next to me really there or am i just imagining it to be?

4. suddenly prelims which are just a few weeks away feels like it will never come.

5. it's weird the ppl who are asking me for advice. i'm totally at a loss at how to help!

6. i am just so freaked

i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell,
i know right now you can't tell..
but stay a while and maybe then you'll see,
a different side of me..

i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired,
i know right now you don't care..
but soon enough, you'll think of me,
and how i used to be.... me.

i dun wanna be a psycho!

100th post. hurhur.

ok was reading lydia's post just now. go over and read it! the link is right below.. ok aniwaes theres this nice song in it, and i think its quite meaningful. so lydia dun update yet. haha.

i'm 17 now and it is time to live for my dreams.. there is no better time than now to go all out for my dreams coz the stresses of life haven't totally caught up with me yet. yeap. i'm gonna go all out to do what i wanna do. lets wait no longer.. 100 years all we have and i do have a feeling i'm gonna die at 33. so yea.. lets live our dreams whilst we are still young!

this entry is short coz i haf nothing to write. gonna add some links hope it comes out. yea.. finally time to link the ppl i said i'd link since dunnoe when. hehz.

if u r not who i'm talking about in the last post, sorry if u think its u coz its not u.. haha.. eh. clue: not anybody tt i noe quite well.. esp not the pretty walter.

hehz.. ok here's a little something i was thinking of..

two milleniums earlier, our battle's been won. when Christ died on the cross, he took our sins, and our fight with the devil is decided. yes we win.. u see.. coz Christ promised us a path to heaven, which is through him and only him.. so the devil, who doesnt want us to go there has lost, coz the path's been open for us. of course, being the pesky devil, he will try anything to stop us.

don't be too naive. the devil's no weakling actualli.. he has been at this since nearly the start of creation, and with all the practice, i think he aint a weak foe. he tempted the great men of the past, like Job, or more recently, ppl like Clinton, and so on. it tell u even ppl like kuan yew, or ur school teacher or a rock star is attacked by the devil too, and possibly, the devil did win. i'm not sure of that coz i dunnoe anione of them personally... but yea.. it is the same devil that these great men are falling to, and this devil is tempting us. yes, it is a tough fight.

BUT, it is a fight that has been won. by the powers of Christ our Lord. the devil may be able to make us cast our eyes off the path Christ has set for us, but he is powerless to stop us from turning back to that path.. he may set all the worldly desires alongside our beautiful path in hope that we will reach out and fall off the path, but he is powerless if we keep on eyes and souls on the path of our gold. he cant touch us if we do not let him, because of the blood. the blood of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. and because of the pain our Saviour has gone through, the compassion and love that holds on is so strong that we can effectively harness ourselves to it, and the devil will become a tiny little breeze that cannot even blow a strand of hair off us. and the bible commands him under our feet, and we shall crush him with our heels. we are higher beings, and power is there for us to claim. it can be like a sword in a sheath or a sword in our hands. but know that call on the name of Jesus, and the sword is through the ugly demented head of the devil. and he is powerless to fight back, for God is our shelter and strength. the devil becomes a little midget. a midget with his head under our heels.

we may have won our battle, but there is the other half of the world unsaved. what say you we go out and win the other half of world for Christ?

we are blessed to be a blessing unto others.

:D hallelujah, our God is great.

Collective Soul - Run

Are these times contagious?
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize i've waited for?
Now with the hours passing
There's nothing left to insure
I long to find a messenger
Have i got a long way to run (x2)
Yeah, i run
Is there a cure among us?
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
I'm going to buy back memories
To awake some old qualities
Have i got a long way to run (x2)
Yeah, i've got a long way to run...

cold nights are bad. lonely nights are bad. tonight is bad.

i believe i ate a pill that causes depression.. it releases its content in a time sensitive capsule.. and maybe temperature too. may be that explains why i always get this kind of cold, lonely and depressed feeling at times like this...

i don't want to go into the details of that.. it goes like this... i have a story. the story is ambitious and all full of wild dreams and good fun. at the same time it is all dark and scary... the scariest part is the main human character never comes. i wait and i wait, and cold lonely nights like this, i realise that i can never give up.. there is no give up option.. and i'm really at a loss..

so why don't we go somewhere only we know?

the other thing i wanna say, if you think you are some princess and the whole world owes u, let me tell you this.. you are fugly and insignificant.. who cares whether who pissed you off or who has been a bitch or how some boys are irritating and some are gorgeous or some organization is lame and boring or how pointless you feel this sentence is. well leave the caring to the guys who have nothing better to do in their lifes.. rock smwhere else u caught-up-with-your-own-demented-self-centred-opinion piece of shit. 300+ or more people just lost their lifes in russia a few days ago.. how the world has offended you doesnt matter right now u understand?

and please remember just because you are pretty doesnt mean you can't offend the whole world.

it is highly likely the people who should be getting the above message is going "he can't be talking about me! tts so not me!" well.. HAHA

have a nice life. don't end up like me criticizing everyone like i am the perfectest guy in the world when i honestly know i'm not.